Days Lately...

Days Lately...

• Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Days turn into nights. Nights turn to days. 

Salam. Lately, my life is like the roller coaster ride - tedious, tiring and challenging. But of course, every minute of it is worth a thousand years.

It's been a while since I've posted something really really personal. Today, I decided to do so. Although my other posts are personal too, but something that has going on in my mind and my life currently is tad way too personal.

Everyday, my life starts after Fajr, around 5 A.M.. I have to prepare breakfast for my mom. And my usual dose of tea. Afterwards, I get ready for my daily pitches for my news-writing job. Then, I get a bit of time for bath, my mom's cleaning time and anything I want to do for about an hour.

9A.M. I start washing the brown rice coz it takes forever to cook if you do not leave it soaked in water for a period of time. Then, I head to work. Writing commences. At 10:30 though, I have to prepare lunch for my mom. Feed her at around 11:30. Dhuhr. Then head back to work.

Then my cousin prepares our lunch. I eat lunch if I haven't had a heavy breakfast. If I had, I skip lunch and schedule it after I finish my articles. At around 3-4 P.M. I am already done with everything.  Asr. I, then, prepare inah's dinner. Feed her. Then, I get about 45 mins of free time.

Come maghrib. 'Isha.

After 'isha, I clean my mom again. Change her diapers. It is so hard to do it, I tell you. She is so heavy and can't move. I can tell that I am gaining muscles and getting stronger physically already.

Then, the rest of the night is mine. It is the time that I blog or I study my foreign language lessons (of which I decided to go with Mandarin first coz it is so challenging) or take the much needed entertainment of watching Detective Conan.

10P.M. I sleep.

The cycle goes on everyday except for weekends. But as per my schedule for my mom, it doesn't change from day to day.

On weekends, I update my blogs and H.M like crazy. I watch Detective Conan. I talk with friends, family and loved ones for hours. I go over my nasty calligraphy skills. I write anything. I study just about anything I want to learn.

Wow. I've never had a life like this in my entire 24 years. I've never imagined life to be like this in my 20s as well. Back in my teenage days, I would dream of studying masters as soon as I graduate from college, and pursuing PhD studies afterwards. I would dream of having my own startup. I would dream of UK, Japan and many countries.

Then again, I would gladly trade those dreams just to have and be with my mom. 

What is the meaning of living the dream if I don't have someone to share it with, especially the one who taught me to dream and achieve? What is good in chasing after worldly desires when my one true love and my paradise is in pain? What is there to look forward to in spite of having millions when the priceless creation of the Almighty would be compromised?

Nothing...

I guess, things are better this way for now. I am learning on my own. I am earning despite the fact that I had to switch gears every now and then. Most of all, inasmuch as I am taking care of my mom, I am in fact taking care of my Jannah.

All my love to the people who constantly check on me, if I am still in my sanity.

Good night. I'll get some rest.

I am tired, after all.



Toodles,

K