I am beginning to be afraid. I've become too comfortable with my current status in life that I am quite fearful of taking steps further or even making a new path that is in line with my passion and interest. Ever since a child, I have been too ecstatic about change and adventures. Although I am not the kind that will drool over roller coasters and mountaineering, I do like adventures such as getting lost in a new place. But these days, the wanting of new heights somehow vanished. And it is what I have been dreading of.
My adventurous self came from my mother's genes, especially on the facet of traveling. My father likes to travel, but the destination will always be the same. My mother, on the other hand, likes new places and new people. That is one major difference of the two. Being their daughter, I might somehow have gotten both perceptions.
A lot of times, quitting this job and moving into a place where I can nurture myself further have crossed my mind. By a lot of times, I mean gazillion times. I would tell myself that I would like to try living the fast-paced life of the city. I want to try that. Then... I get scared.
And being scared scares me the most. If I can't be in the place that I want to be just because I am scared is really dumbfounded.
What I was doing lately is conditioning myself about the possible change that will be occurring in my life. I am starting with what I have always loved - traveling. After that, I will start moving into the field that I really want and the place that I have been considering a lot.
If not now, when? If I don't battle with this fear, I will succumb to it. And that will not be happening! I will never be surrendering to anything called fear.
I am free!
And I will be free from this fear in time. No one was able to dictate me on what I need to do aside from Allah SWT and my parents. And this fear will not be the one to dictate me - not now, not ever!
Here's to the people who are not afraid to chase after what they really like. Here's to those kind of people that inspire me a lot!