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My Cup of Tea: Annoying Questions Early Adults Like Me Usually Gets

As an adult, we often get questions from all ages that sometimes can already be annoying. I am not spared from this annoyance. Other days, I even ponder upon these questions and ask them to myself – succinctly and convincingly. Some of them make sense while most doesn’t really hit the nail. I, then, shrug them off and move on with my daily schedule.

Here are some of the questions I’ve encountered ever since I became an adult:
When are you getting married?

This is probably the most asked question ever since I graduated. Back in the days, I would counter that I am still too young for marriage. Now, I just smile at the person asking and change the topic.

It is not like I don’t want to get married. But I believe that asking a single woman of the “time” of her marriage is just plainly wrong at all sides. You might think that you are only being thoughtful, but know that you are only adding to her agony and burden of getting married soon.

I know that within myself, I don’t feel any pressure of needing to marry early.  It’s not like I know when is my turn to get married. Of course, at this age and time, I am very much in the right age to marry already. But I don’t question God’s Grace and Mercy. If he gives me marriage sooner with a kind, righteous and God-fearing person, Alhamdulillah; if it is later, then Alhamdulillah still.

Do you want a doctor for a husband? A lawyer? A fellow CPA perhaps? Or an engineer?

In addition to the question above, some would pitch an addendum like this. Although I get the point that they are trying to push someone they know, but it gets irritating when you get the same set of questions most of the time. Sometimes, I tend to look at it that people have already given judgment that we want that status and the bank account that comes with it.

I would usually just tell them jokingly that he has to be dropdead gorgeous. And add that it doesn’t matter as long as he is the man that Allah SWT sent for me. And I pray that he is kind, righteous and God-fearing.

Is your salary high? {Insert all possible ranges they can come up)

My mother did not even bother asking me about how much do I really earn. I don’t get why other people is in need to know about it. My salary and other earnings are personal.

First of all, I don’t like flaunting around how much I earn – no matter how low or high is the amount. It is not like I earn a higher status for earning more. I don’t! I struggle with my eeman from day to day basis. And I feel like the lowest of the low in the eyes of Allah SWT. May he forgive me and you for our shortcomings.

I usually answer this question, “just more than enough to get me by every month,” which is of course true and real.

Do you pray five times a day?

I was astounded and dumbfounded when I was asked this question back in 2014. I was new in the workplace, and probably people were curious about me. I expected several questions, but never did it cross my mind that I would be asked about my prayers other than by my parents, my probable future husband and his family, and by Allah SWT in akhirah. Take note, I was asked by this woman in front of many people.

Again, I don’t feel like I need to tell people whether I pray or not. It becomes riyah and showing off. Moreover, I really dislike it when people become too judgmental of a person and ending up asking questions that they should be giving a hundred excuses to.

Remember that when you see a passerby walking past the masjid during asr adhan, you should give him an excuse that maybe he is a musafir and had already taken his combined prayers? It is similar to that. Let us all think of one another as a praying person – even if some are not.

I am not mad for having to face these questions again and again. But, I am telling you, they are annoying and you should refrain as much as possible from asking them to any early adults like me. We have all sorts of new responsibilities ahead of us and we can’t take another stressor in the way.

It is not like I loathe you when, at one point, you have asked me about this. We just have to be considerate and think more. Maybe she gets blasted with these questions a lot. Maybe I should refrain.

Because, girl, if I will be getting married, you would know. And my salary is not of an importance to my place in the society. We should all belong despite of having more or less. We should be inclusive without thinking of statuses, races, colours, wealth and other labels. And of course, my worship is a deeper and more personal matter. We should all be given benefit of the doubt, which is in most cases should be the positive side.

Have you been asked one or two of these questions repeatedly? How do you usually react?  

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