Kai’s travel joys, modesty whatnots and cup of tea summarized in photos and words.

Kai Darul is an Intellifluence Trusted Blogger
Travel Blog Directory

On Marriage and Mothers

That seem like a complicated title. I am not getting married yet. However, everyone dreams of spending his life with the person who Allah SWT has set aside for him right? I dream of having a simple life in the future. Then again, the journey to that destination is still long.

You might be wondering why I am talking of marriage all of the sudden. Let's get real. I am not getting any younger. Lol! I also dream of true love. And when that person arrives and comes knocking on my house's door to ask permission from my mom, I'd gladly accept. But of course, we should be compatible in a way. We have to have a connection instantly. We have to be perfectly okay with our imperfections. We have to accept each other for what we are. And he has to be a Muslim. He has to be someone who fears Allah. He has to love his parents more than he could love me.

You might say, why? Let's put it this way. In Islam, one should respect and love his mother three times more than he could love his father and eventually other people. Now, if he cannot give that respect and love to his parents who had gone through a lot of sacrifices for him, how can he even treat you accordingly? I hope you get the logic. I don't want to be someone whom a guy would prefer over his parents. His heaven lies in the feet of his mother. And if I ever did want him to love me more than he could give his parents, I am pulling him away from his path to heaven. I would not be happy doing that. It's similar to my case also. A guy cannot just let me love him more than I could love my parents. I also have my heaven in the feet of my mother.

You see, Islam cares about family. Islam cares so much about women. Our mothers are next to Allah. Our heaven lies in their feet. If we ever made them cry and if ever we hurt them, let us always ask for forgiveness. Remember, there are billions of prospect husbands out there but you only have one mother and one father biologically.

Of course, I will love my husband. I will serve him with gladness, patience, and sincerity in my heart. I will not maltreat him. He will always feel my love. However, he must not compete with the love I give to my parents specifically my mother. I will love his parents three times more than I love him. He must in return, do the same favour for me. Because, with an eternal love of a family comes great bond that is tested through distance and time.

You might be thinking that I ask too much. Allah SWT said, "Ask, and I shall give." Asking is never bad. However, you have to know the limits of what you are asking for. I think, what I have asked is for me and my soon-to-be partner in life to be good Muslims. And aspiring to achieve what I have mentioned is never a bad thing.

Above all, let it be known that Allah comes first before anyone. He must love and obey Allah with the entirety of his borrowed life. After all, Allah gave us this life. Amin.



I know that most of my readers (or at least, those who interact) are from other religion. So, please tell me in the comments section your perspective about marriage. I'd be glad to hear about them. And please, let us not put the differences in religion as the source of our arguments.


  1. your thoughts are very beautiful. knowing that you and your partner love your parents so much give you very strong foundation for a lasting relationship and marriage :)

    my perspective about marriage ? i think respect and honesty to one another are most important. :)

  2. True. I'm getting old na din. 21 this 21st. Tsk. May you find your true love!

  3. When the time is right the right person will be there. I love your perspective when it comes to marriage and love.

  4. It's great how your blog gives Christians like me a glimpse of how the Muslim culture and beliefs are. 

    Truth be told, I couldn't agree with you more on your view about marriage. My belief teaches me to "Honor your mother and father", and I think that commandment expands itself over marriage and love in general. 

    Let me add too that it is foolish to enter a relationship without marriage, and hence all the responsibilities with that, in mind.

  5. i agree with your post! Dapat your partner should respect and love her mother three times like that! one question popped into y head, diba pag muslims okay lng maraing asawa? Hindi ka takot sa ganyang situation Ayah? Yun bang hindi lang ikaw meron pang iba? kasi in my own opinion parang ayaw ko. haha maybe it depends sa situation noh.

  6. its really great how you post about the beliefs of Islam sis. It has a lot of wisdom behind it. lol but now,i'm reminded how old i am and still being single. gosh, i don't think i'll ever going to marry someone. :0

  7. Reading your thoughts about marriage made me smile. I'm a bit older than you are, and have been married for 18 years now. I think you've found some important key points for a strong relationship- similar beliefs, and a strong respect for not just each other but for others as well.

    I married my best friend 18 years ago, and we've made the commitment to be together, to grow together, and to share our lives together. It sounds to me like you have a wonderful marriage ahead of you, once you do find the one you're going to marry.


© LILPINK | A Hijabi's Cup of Tea