SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER

HERO IMAGE

HERO IMAGE
PROFILE PICTURE


Kai’s travel joys, modesty whatnots and cup of tea summarized in photos and words.







MORE
Kai Darul is an Intellifluence Trusted Blogger

My Cup of Tea: When Mother Depends on Daughter



If there is anybody that I admire with all my heart, it is my mother. She has always been the source of my inspiration and motivation. My mother molded me to be independent. However, when things went crazy and she became ill, I was still not ready. Merely after I became a certified public accountant, my mother started depending on me more from finances to physical strength. I was just 22.



At first, she can still move around and even help with the house chores. Despite the fact that she was ill, she still cooks for me at times. Then there came a time that she can hardly do anything. Since our province has a water system problem and we stayed at the second floor of our old house in Tawi-Tawi, I had to fetch water in order to cook and wash the dishes from the first floor and carry it to the next floor. I did this everyday before I go to work for several months. I think I've gotten muscular from doing it.

When I go to work, sometimes she is left alone in the house. It was really hard since I had to leave her and earn to sustain our daily needs. I remember that she had to leave me with my aunt (her older sister), too, when she goes to work in my infancy stage. At work, I would always worry about her. Of course, the food usually is already prepared and all she needs to do is eat. But sometimes, I have to hurry and she had to cook her own food. The dishes will only be done at night since it is all the time that I've got. It was really a hard life, but I had to endure.

When I went to Japan for a month, I left her with her aunt and cousin. At first, I worried so much about her and I didn't want to go. But my mother pushed me and told me that I needed to go. Even though she was not really well, she did not want me to be regretful that I didn't go. She knew that I had always fancied about Japan. In fact, I applied for it earlier but wasn't accepted. She saw that it was my chance and I had to take it.

Fast forward to June 2015, she was taken to the hospital because she had a really low blood count. It was really the hardest time. She has been taking a lot of medicines and whatnots for her illness, but seeing her on the hospital bed is really hurtful. Seeing someone you know who has always been strong become so weak was really sad. After two months, we took her again to the hospital to get another bag of blood. During the first one, she came home walking. However, on the second one, she cannot walk anymore. She had to be taken home using an ambulance. And the medical people had to carry her to her bed at home.

The truth is I had never became so scared and cried so much in my entire life as how I did on her second hospital confinement. I looked for people to cling to as I cannot do anymore with her. We were so broke that I had to sell the last pieces of the jewelry we owned since it is easier to sell than other properties.

There were times that I felt hopeless. But I was in no position to give up when I see her fighting her own battle. I am not the type of daughter who is so perfect. I disappointed my parents a lot of times. However, I wanted to do everything that I can to have her cured. I was dismayed that I could only do so little thing for her. And a lot of times, I would still cling to her and depend on her.

To be honest, I was never ready. As a child, no matter how much of a woman I grew into, I would still depend on her on many things. In fact, I still do. The other day, I went to the mall and looked for a new cellphone because the one that I am using has been slowing down. Since I had to spend hefty amount for it, I still called her and asked for advice. Although I knew that she would say that I am already old to make decisions on my own, deep in my heart, I am still the same crybaby that is clinging onto her - even if she is sick.

There are a lot of people in my life. But none of them really stood by my side the way my mother did. That is why, up to this moment, I still depend on her.

Mothers are indeed amazing people. No matter how weak they become physically, they still do their best in order to be the strength of their children.

And I am so grateful that she is my mother and my paradise. 

15 comments:

  1. My oh My that was quite a heartfelt story. I wish your Mom the best of health, inshallah. I can't imagine needing to be the head of the household. My father passed away 6 years ago from cancer, and I just remember him dwindling away, it was painful beyond anything i have ever endured. God be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This made me tearful. May Allah grant her shifa. May Allah bless us to become the best of daughters!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mothers are always there for us, even in tough times. It's amazing how this connection never snaps, but deepens even as we are older.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You're a CPA. I'm so lazy and with the baby I put that aside. I'm happy with a Master in Accouting lol. To go back to mothers, they're amazing. When I gave birth all wanted to do was see my mother and she came alhamdullilah. I call her a lot! xx :) Inspiring post sis!

    ReplyDelete
  5. May Allah Grant her Shifaa and reward you for your patience. Ameen. Than you for sharing this personal piece with us :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. MashaAllah.. God Bless our mothers.. Prayers ~

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mothers are such a blessing. May Allah give shifa to your mother and may she live a long healthy life. You are very strong, I know! Keep it up dear.
    God bless you!

    Fatima

    ReplyDelete
  8. You have a lovely heart and I'm sure your mum appreciates it. Thanks for sharing your inspirational story. May your reward be a daughter even better than yourself.

    May Allah reward you for your unconditional love, care and devotion. And may this a path to Jannah for you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Recenty read of your mother's sad demise,
    May Allah grant her the highest place in jannah,
    As my father has been recently ill, I had also gone thru the same phase,
    Parents are precious and your love and care are indeed inspirational and commendable.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Prayers for you and your mother </3

    ReplyDelete
  11. May Allah (swt) grant her shiffa Ameen! We never stop relying on her mums and they are the one person who will always be there for you in sha Allah

    ReplyDelete
  12. You try your best to make your mother happy and Allah will reward you for every single effort. I lost my mother when I was just 4. The only memories i've of her are imaginary ! cherish every moment you have with her

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm almost speechless Kai. Such a beautiful post. I can't imagine the difficulties you have gone through. While I felt similar when I lost my father for the last months of his life, I think seeing a mother suffer is something different.

    When my father was ill, i was just going for a friends high school graduation and I didn't want to go (in our city, so just for the evening), but he told me - life your life - so I went. Little did I know he would be gone in a few weeks.

    No doubt you'll be rewarded for all that you did for her - I'm in awe of you after reading this.

    May Allah (swt) give her a high place in Jannah where you will see her again one day free of any pain or suffering, in the best of abodes. Ameen.

    Love,
    Anees

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cried while reading your post sis T_T stay strong. u r such an inspiration. May Allah (swt) grant our mothers the highest place in Jannah *huuuuuuuuuug*

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Kai. i have been reading your entries for days already. i was able to find your site thru a friend who shared your blog on fb. since then i keep on checking your blog whenever my time allows me to do so. and it is no surprise that you are truly blessed with intelligence and good fortune in terms of career because you are an amazing daughter to your mom. May Allah grant her paradise. this entry really pierced my heart. now i want it so bad to double my effort to give back to my mom. thank you! God bless you always.

    ReplyDelete

© LILPINK | A Hijabi's Cup of Tea